So I found out some serious info since the last time I updated. Crucial. Turns out wedding planning is really awful. I mean not like the punchline to a dead baby joke (A: a pitchfork), but the sort of tedious never ending awful. Like graduate school or that time I went to an open mic and someone performed with an autoharp, sung about her cats, and I was told I couldn’t laugh.

Had I known it would be this way, I would have figured out some way to leisurely plan a mock wedding, propose, and then get married before anyone realized they were offended or unhappy with some aspect of the event. The alternative is eloping, but I don’t think I want to have that conversation with both sets of relatives every family get-together for the remainder of my adult life. Thanks to working at an old folks home and a mental hospital, I also now associate “eloping” with “crazy person running away to buy cigarettes”.

Regardless of all the silly fighting and misunderstandings, this should be a pretty great wedding. I mean for other people. For me it’ll be the best. Except for the mustache part. I wanted everyone, including babies (especially babies), to have to wear a false mustache. So for me this will be the best wedding ever that doesn’t have fake mustaches. For other people it’ll be a great destination wedding that is lacking just a touche of upper lip magic.