I walked a 5k today. I’d have at least jogged it (poorly), but I wasn’t dressed for the occasion. Someone handed me their number for the Atlanta Kaiser Permanente Wacky Race & Fun Run. I had gone to support Maggie, who was actually running it (and maybe steal a sandwich while the 20,000 participants were all running away), but I did wear my running shoes since I had to hoof it a ways to the race starting point at Turner Field. Why not walk the 5k? Well the answer was probably because “you will sweat like a pig walking 3 miles wearing jeans in this weather”. Honestly, I probably would have sweat about as much playing picross on my DS back at the tent. It’s what I do. I mean sweat. I play DS a lot, but I have a natural talent for sweating.
I got paid today for the first part of the big project I’ve been working on. I’m under the impression I can show you what the heck it is in about 3 weeks. »
Whenever I’m at fancy parties (which is like all the time. I’m at one now), I tell people I don’t watch TV. This is a way of letting other people know how smart you are without actually having to do anything smart! It is like in undergrad when I would leave dumbbells on the floor of my bedroom. Any girl foolish enough to wander in would see them and assume I worked out. Nothing could be further from the truth. I would have kept a guitar in there, but the game would have been up had she asked me to play anything more complex than a scale progression or a hinky version of the first 2 bars of Ode to Joy.
The point is, I am a gigantic liar. I watch TV. Maybe not as much as the next guy, but I make up for it by spending so much time online, that my history makes claims like that I have been searching for animated GIFs of midgets riding dogs while I’ve been sleeping. It’s possible. As an aside, I couldn’t find an image of a midget riding a dog, but I am sure that 10 minutes after it is posted on the internet someone will find a way to make it into porn.
I watched some of the amazing new TV shows this season that will change the course of human history and usher in a new golden age of entertainment. Here is what I’ve seen so far:
Chuck - A Geek Squad guy at Best Buy has all the secrets of the NSA and CIA downloaded into his brain as the result of some weird ALIAS plot device. This show is filled with nerd fan-service. I liked it, but I don’t know where the hell the show is going to go after the initial mystery is solved.
Heroes - FRYING MAN!!!
Journey Man - The dork in me demands I point out that this show rips off Quantuum Leap and The Time Traveler’s Wife. Joe Cool Bad Ass from Rome is in it, and I’m actually curious about where the hell the show is going. That’s good I guess.
House - House is mean, and a patient almost dies once every commercial break until House figures out what was wrong all along. I just wrote every episode of House! Still like it.
Bionic Woman comes on tomorrow. I think I’m supposed to like that according to the nerd magazines, but they’ve been playing a making-of ad before movies at my local theater for months. It just looks like a predictable rehash of a couple other series already out there. »
The big animation project I’ve been working on for the last two months has more or less wrapped. I’ll post here and let everyone know when it goes live. I’m not sure I can actually discuss what it is publicly yet given that it hasn’t been announced. What I can say is that I made five original thirty-second animations and it is probably safe to say that there are four more originals coming by this winter.
What else is going on…
You know how there are certain truths about old cartoons that are just left unsaid on the program? The most obvious is that Scooby and Shaggy are huge stoners. Now this may just be me, but I believe that Scrappy Doo breaks so many “rules” of the reality of the Scooby-Doo universe that he is in fact not a living creature but a hallucination shared by the gang after a really bad trip. Don’t even get me started on “The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby Doo” and what was going on there.
Anyway, I was in the shower washing my bits thinking about 90s cartoons like everyone does when I realized the dirty little secret behind James Bond, Jr.
While the family tree is never really discussed in the show, the theme song reveals that James Bond is not the father but the uncle of James Bond, Jr. Unless he’s just using it to get some chick into bed, Bond says in several of the films that he has no family at all. It only took me 15 years to figure this out, but James Bond is the “uncle” that comes over to visit mom once every few weeks. One of Mr Bond’s flings got knocked up, kept the child, and named him after his father. Faced with this, James Bond rejected fatherhood. Mom, hoping to make some sense of the mess she helped create by naming the kid junior, crafted the uncle scenario.
Oh, and the “heart” kid on Captain Planet had a fake ring. The spirit of the earth ran out of elements, but there was one kid left. She felt bad, so she gave him a glorified flashlight ring. The kid just happens to be good with animals. Deep down, he probably knows he has no special powers. He’s relentlessly cheery because he’s hiding a soul-crushing depression. »
