On Chuck Norris
This is how internet pop culture popularity works. I call it the Asteroids Timeline of Pop Culture Icon Popularity on the Internet, or The internet is full of idiots for short.
To understand this timeline, you need to remember Asteroids. Here’s a pretty good mock up I threw together.

You’re a little spaceship that blows up asteroids. At the end of the game it turns out your dad was actually the monster, your retard jock friend nails the goth chick, and you are a dream of yourself.
Now here’s where we bring some simple geometry into it. The spaceship represents the pop culture icon. The Y axis of the screen represents coolness. The X axis doesn’t mean shit. In this screen we have Chuck at an all time low.

Now here is where it gets interesting. The game environment of Asteroids exists within a finite yet infinite spherical galaxy. You can travel from point A in direction X forever. You will never hit a wall. However, you pass through the point at which you departed after some time. It is as if a 3 dimensional universe existed on the surface of a sphere.
Chuck passes through the lowest possible point in popularity you can get to while still being remembered at all.

Amazingly he appears at the top of the screen. He has become so lame that he is now awesome again… to idiots.
This theory of mine isn’t the only possibility. This could be an example of The Pop Culture Icon Popularity Super Mario Bros Death. I won’t bother making screens for this because I’m tired. In this theory, Chuck falls into a hole of lameness. Instead of disappearing forever, he launches far into the air (again, y axis equals popularity). Instead of remaining popular, though, he quickly rockets back into lameness and disappears. Game over.
Posted in Humor | No Comments »